tonight i am sleeping in jeans again. this is the new me, the one i am growing into, because the old me would have planned better. the old me, with the clean hair. maybe the new me will even be able to go a whole day without making the bed, a whole day without thinking you or them or what in the world i am even supposed to be doing with my life. maybe the new me can make decisions.

i like looking at the freeway through foggy windows. the heat was so high that it made your head spin, and i don't know how devin kept driving. everyone fell asleep so i stared at all the flashing lights and tired cops. when you spend a year away from a city like salt lake, you get disoriented. all the faces are new. all the people are new. all of the bands and the roads and the buildings even seem new. he had never lived up there, he'd been in provo all his life. i had no excuse. i think i miss that, just a little bit.