i am losing everything lately.
it will only be a matter of time before i lose my hair, and my eyesight, and my mind.

i've been waking up with headaches again, too, the kind that make you want to go back to bed and not come out. it just aches and aches and ican'tthinkstraight. and when it dulls, i am left with all of the thoughts i couldn't have before. i think i've been left alone with my head too much lately, and songs with sweet lyrics, and sunflower seeds. i miss having music flowing through me like a bad addiction. my head works in no correlation with my heart anymore, and i've been having really weird dreams. last night it was my best friend, and the girl of his dreams was getting proposed to and saying yes. his heart was broken, and it was all in real time. i had to let him cry on my shoulder, and tell him it would be alright, but i don't think i fixed anything inside of him. it was a sad dream, but i was happy because i hadn't ever thought she was right for him.

so i guess that's it. i need to clean my room, and take some ibuprofen, and try to figure out where anything is anymore.

at least the leaves are changing colors.