"I used to teach 7th grade, but then I got mad and made some kids cry and probably pee so I stopped"
-Tim C. on why I should be a teacher (right after a story of ten kids talking to him at once)


Sounds appealing.

"I have found that I usually imagine that things are going to turn out badly.  This tendency started about three or four years ago; it is not accidental; but it is annoying."

-Adolfo Bioy Casares, The Invention of Morel 

Unfortunately this describes me pretty well.  I am a hypochondriac, a believer of the worst, a worrier, a grump.  Maybe this is due to past experiences, but I read this in a book for school (case two of being an English major actually doing my faith good this week) and it really convicted me.  God has GOOD plans for my life.  I am so blessed by all of the good that is happening in my life.

-wonderful small group, wonderful friends
-Fall weather
-bakery job and a soon to be second job making coffee
-warm bed (so happy this time of year!)
-full stomach
-21 soon

and I could go on further.  But anyways, I am a little exhausted and I have yet another film to watch for school.  This week I start reading Picture of Dorian Gray and 1984.  This semester has been such a good one for readings, give or take a few books.  I will probably even keep most of them so I can reread them later.  Films, on the other hand, are another story....

"But I like the inconveniences."

"We don't," said the controller. "We prefer to do things comfortably."

"But I don't want comfort. I want God, I want poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom, I want goodness. I want sin."
-Brave New World.

I love all of these Utopian novels I am reading. Utopias arise out of men trying to fix what men have destroyed, and life is still so miserable. There is no true solution. Only God can create a beautiful society and I cannot wait to see the perfection of Heaven.

six more weeks of college. 


I don't know if I can take it. 

Utah lovin'

Let the photos speak for themselves because I am speechless. God is incredible to let me live here. Disclaimer: these are all at the expense of my Mazda, so if you have a wimp car, find someone with an SUV and enjoy the canyon without wrecking your engine.

Things my dad and his brother talk about

After not seeing each other for years (a short list):

-boxers and how great they are
-guns
-knifes
-hunting
-hippies
-welfare
-occupy Wall Street
-more boxers
-their messy ex-brother-in-law
-politics
-bee stings
-knee injuries
-how said bee stings will cure boxer joint problems

Oh and then some.

I have seen extended family this year, on both sides, that I haven't seen in at least five years. It has been so much fun to see them again and I am planning some road trips to do this more. I need to get out to California and DEFINITELY Portland. It has been far too long since I've been back to Oregon and my uncle made me realize all that I miss about it today.

I love my extended family so much, but I am encouraged every time that my parents live the way they do. Hearing my cousins in Michigan obsess over body weight or my uncle tell crazy stories makes me so grateful that I was raised by parents that love Jesus first. It shines through their lives and their love...what a blessing!

A quick note to GS:

I told the U how good of an instructor you are today.  So would you like to eat steak with me now?   I will even suffer Paleo with you.  Please say yes.

Sincerely,
The Weakest Link.


Except really, I am not the weakest anymore, and I truly feel so happy about that.  I finished my WOD/Final today in 5:10, so that was a big accomplishment, since we were given double that time to do it.     My body is feeling so healthy, except for the days that I lapse in judgment and eat poorly (which usually coincide with the weekend...ouch).

This week I will be halfway through my last semester of college.  EVER.  I don't really know what I am going to do with my time outside of reading all these books and watching endless amounts of film.  I better pick up a new hobby I guess.  Maybe I can become a painter (tried and failed once), or a graphic designer (made one mediocre piece), or scrapbooker (too. much. paper.) or just work on writing creatively (best choice).   I feel like I haven't written a decent creative piece in over a year.  I miss sitting down and letting the sentences flow.  I think that when I don't have to write critically all the time this will become easy again.

Fall still isn't here really.  Utah is on its own moody time frame.  I keep getting tricked into wearing flannel, but by the afternoon I am always sweating.  I still haven't really learned how to dress for weather here, after like, 13 years.  I am absolutely smitten with this state lately though.  I have a wonderful church and friends that I love dearly. The mountains are also so lovely at this time of year, and all of the time really.  I can drive for ten minutes and end up in one of two canyons by my house.  This is what my dreams are made of.  I am absolutely a mountain person.  All those weird dudes that abandon their city lives and go live in the woods--I would do that in a heartbeat if I didn't think it was the opposite of what God has for me.  I may be stuck in a city when I belong in a field, but that is where God has CHOSEN to stick me, and that is where I will stay for the time being.

So much going on in my life, I don't know where to start.  Ch-ch-changes, as David Bowie would say.  God is shaking things up in big ways.  I will write more on them later, but I have a bakery to get to in the morning.