tonight i watched this film for a class, which was entirely in chinese, except for when they listened to american songs, which were always oldies, or reggae. or, sometimes there was a mysterious lady in a blonde wig, who smoked a lot of cigarettes, that occasionally spoke english. but anyways, it was so wonderful. it made sense with a lot of things that are going on in my life, which sounds cheesy but is mainly true.

i feel like i haven't seen my friends for a long time, like i have just been going to school always, or working, or watching children. but then i remember a moment i've had, that is recent, where people were involved in my life. that is manageable for now. further down the line (which hopefully is soon) i need to figure out some time management. this is making for long days, which i can't stay awake through. this is just a long season, though. one day i'll wake up and the semester will be over, and maybe i'll have a new job.

God is teaching me things, in this extra time by myself, in hard days, in not sleeping very much. i have been having some great quiet times, and my head is above water, for now. i wonder when things will change but i know that ultimately God's timing is perfect and worth resting in. i am tired of running around seeking my own desires. it gets me nowhere, and it just creates one more thing to think about before i fall asleep. so here is to letting go of that and picking up a real fight, that has direction and a vision. i'll wait for as long as i need to.


also, on a completely unrelated note: i love doing bridal photos, but it's so hard to not be able to post previews of a project that i'm so excited about.