Saturday, September 18, 2010

i have this new thing, where i can't sleep without white noise. like, if there is nothing going on i won't sleep. i think it is due to the busy-ness (business?) and noise of my summer. that and the fact that without it, my thoughts are just louder.

i am working a ten hour shift tomorrow. it's been a long time since i've done one of those, but i let my manager pressure me into it too easily, regardless of my theory homework, or even friends. work has been in my prayers a lot lately, because it's so discouraging and i just want out all of the time. it's been a year now, a long year, but i'm just not sure yet if God wants me to move on or not. the last few weeks there have been really hard and messy.

steele said tonight that we would be fools to keep holding onto any treasures that were lesser than Jesus. and i am agreeing so much, but, damn, that is convicting. my hands are pretty full of my treasures, and the messes they've caused, but it feels good to just keep dropping them, one by one. God is so patient with me, throughout my worries and headaches and even my impatience. how beautiful a truth to see, to know. i am truly excited for the changes fall is bringing into my life, even if i get a little sad about them occasionally. God knows exactly what i need right now.

1 comment:

kel said...

the last paragraph is exactly how i am starting to feel about my life haha.
I love that God is so in control, its a love hate thing though for me. I want control too much and I feel like sometimes God actually gives me it just to watch me mess up my life, not as a way to say haha have fun but, a way to show me that I need him to be in control not me haha.
God probably gets a kick out of his children sometimes, really we are kind of stupid? haha

anyways that was probably very irrelevant.