thanks for chatting with me,

said an old lady at my work that i probably said like, four sentences to. sometimes old people break my heart because they can just get so lonely. so they cherish every conversation, which i guess is something i admire in a person.

something i realized today was that i have been living the past whole week without a headache. and that i didn't even notice. so now i am not sure whether that is good or bad. also what i realized is that my outdoors life doesn't have to end with fall. i keep thinking that because school is starting back up i am not allowed to be outside, hike, or ride my bicycle anywhere, but i am not going to let school trick me. taking classes doesn't always mean looking longingly out of windows. at least until winter happens, which could be anytime around here.

back to the old life. back to hot tubs, and baking, and missing people at the oddest times. it is going to be a long fall.

there is a lot going on in my life, and usually i just don't feel like writing about it. but one thing that went on yesterday that was interesting was that someone smashed up my car. i was helping a customer at work, and this man came in the store freaking out and saying that we needed to call the police because somebody had pulled a hit and run on a car in the parking lot. his details about the driver and other car were pretty vague, but he mentioned that they hit a mazda millenia, which really wasn't cool because, well, i am pretty sure i am one of five people in america that actually has one of those. so i was freaked out, but i couldn't go look cause i was helping a customer. i gave my keys to a girl that i worked with so she could go check, and finished my job and walked outside. and of course it would be my car, and of course it would be awful! the whole front bumper was off, there were no cameras, and no one got her license plate number, so there was really nothing to be done, except either laugh or cry. so mainly i laughed, and had to find myself a ride home.

today though, i figured out it was a blessing. it still sucks because we have to pay the deductible, but because i pay so much for insurance everything is covered--i even got a fancy rental car. just a few days ago, we were talking about how bad my headlights are too, and i guess they were going to be about $1100 to fix if i didn't want them to keep going out. well, needless to say, with the whole front being smashed, i get new headlights that will finally work for way less than that! God is so good to me, even when things seem so backwards. he is good in troubles and relationships and even going back to school. i am ready for fall, i guess. i just wish i could keep sleeping in, is all.

and some things that Spenc has been saying to me recently:

on body parts:

"That is the thing I hate about eyes."

on my life:
"Do you feel like a kid again?" -after taking a break from watching a meteor shower to jump on the trampoline

and, to the eight year-old boy inside of me:
"Have you ever had to poop and throw up at the same time?"

"Big night, Lemon? Let me guess: meatball sub, extra bread, bottle of Nyquil, TiVo Top Chef..."
-Jack Donaghy, on 30 Rock. I keep going back to this show after long days of life, work, and even, occasionally the outdoors.

I am going to miss the outdoors, due to winter coming sooner than I want it to. I will need to find a kind of exercise I can do inside. Or get a gym pass.

a thought, a few months too late, is that i really actually miss my creative writing class. but i do not miss reading everyones' stories about computer hackers or creepy spy dudes. so mainly i just miss my ultra-hip professor and the things that i was able to write during that time.

"There were the firemen, big, bulky looking, spraying down the car with a hose and popping the tires. Feet away stood the old woman, watching her Buick dissolve into nothing useful. Her face was that of someone in shock—not scared, but not present, either. She just stood there.

The car was nothing but scraps of metal, and the other employees came in from the outdoors because the smell was too strong. A lone fireman walked away from the scene to the local Redbox, like he hadn’t just put out a fire. Jermaine almost had to laugh about it. He had never wanted a cigarette so bad, which struck him as odd after just seeing a fire destroy something. He walked outside for his break and lit it up, inhaling as he watch the last traces of smoke fade into the grey skies."

Last night I went to a wedding reception in a backyard, for a couple that I've never met. Also, so did 600 other people, so there was a lot of waiting in lines. The bride was half Polynesian, too, so there was a lot of dancing. And, by dancing I mean us watching people do various hulas, and the haka, and people putting dollar bills in their clothes. All in all it was an interesting night. But, sorry, I am never inviting 600 people to my wedding.

And here are some quotes I have been saving up in my head:

"I was about to tell him, 'yeah, you look like you'd like the cold'."

-Moriah, telling me how she was planning to start a conversation with a bald man, who was evesdropping on us at a wedding.

"You and Noah (Hahn) will have to hang out sometime soon."

"Yeah....I want to go to Texas. I hear there are rattlesnakes there."

-Me, and then Spencer Scribner.

"Mikey, prepare to enter Halo."

-Nick, walking onto the bridge of the Wells Fargo building.

"I know you guys are into that physical activity stuff, so I was just trying to be charitable."
-Austin, making excuses for not picking us up in order to save gas.

I think I would like to write him a book of the stuff that he says and give it to him for his birthday. Maybe 18th, maybe 21st.

"well, he completely deserves this one."
-philip hahn, justifying a shark attack as punishment


--i had a moment, yesterday at work, where i wasn't grumpy about my job situation, and it is this:

my favorite customer, who is old and tall and has a ponytail SPOKE TO ME. which, i guess it is weird that he is my favorite, because he never says more than that he is doing okay, but he is consistent, which makes me feel good. he comes in all of the time, and he at least answers my prompts and smiles if he feels the need. he consistently wears a vietnam vet hat and the same few shirts, without any crazy mood swings like other customers. anyways, i like him because he doesn't mess around. most of the old dudes that come in just want to tell you all of the jokes they can, which is sometimes just fine except it makes for a long day, and most of the jokes are the same. so this guy doesn't talk, except for yesterday he started a conversation with me. i like to think that maybe it was because i was gone for three weeks, and he realized that he missed me. but who is to say.

--shark week. there is something satisfying about watching discovery channel. i feel like my iq has gone up, but really, i have just watched a lot more blood and guts tv than usual.

--another thing i realized, pretty recently, is that i buy hair products just because i want to smell them. it has been the reason for most of my recent purchases. sometimes i even disregard what the stuff exactly does, and just want to buy it because it smells good. so, if my hair looks bad for the next few years, just know that it smells wonderful, when i am falling asleep on my pillow at night.

well, off to bed, and the new arcade fire album, which is actually, so far, wonderful. tomorrow is my brother's birthday, and i am excited to go celebrate with him after half a day of work. summer is going too fast.

here is a scenario:

it is midnight. you are exhausted, but, for the record, that is just what happens during the summer. for some reason you are in a parking garage, outside of a building that is too well lit for twelve am. everything smells like cigarettes, which really isn't so bad, and the man next to you is sweating a whole lot as you both wait for the elevator door to open. and it does, and you look in, and through the lens you see someone just as tired as you are. and someone with enough energy for the whole world to feed off of, and you know, for finally, that you are not crazy, and that this is just the kind of life you have chosen.


so that isn't so bad. i am learning to answer my phone in the night, even when i don't want to know what kind of adventure the other line wants to have.