"there's a love that doesn't fail, no matter what you've done."

my car is scratched up and down. i'm tired, and sore, and working so many six day weeks.

but in the midst of this I AM SO BLESSED. i am so incredibly and beautifully blessed. it is more than i can fathom. God is amazing to a sinning complainer like me. 

I love my small group.
I love serving my church and my friends.
I love spending time with various Godly women.

My life is changing and my heart is getting ready for spring.
Sometimes, for reasons unknown, i suffer from social anxiety. i love people but the thought of interacting with them stresses me out. maybe it's because of past hurts, but God is totally doing a new work on my heart. i've been trying (read: forcing myself) to try and spend more time with the lovely people God is placing in my life. also, one of my coworkers is moving to SLC this weekend. whole new mission field.

God, shine through me in so many more ways than i ever thought possible. You are worth it, you are worth so much more than the small things i try to offer (which you have you given to me anyways). i want more from life than going to work and making a comfortable life for myself. I want YOU, with all the joys, the aches, the exhaustion, the reward, the tears, and the beauty that that brings. Fill me up and pour me out in service to You and others. all that i have is Yours. remind me of that. You are good and have good for me---how often i forget. this world has nothing except dust and false promises. all of the good, the beauty, the mountains and the valleys, fellowship, love, creativity, trees and sunshine and outside--that is all you. inspire my heart and stretch my faith. I love you. Soli Deo Gloria. 

"And the night was cool and clear as glass with the sneaking snake in the garden grass, as Deep cried out to Deep, the Disciples fast asleep. And the snake perked up when he heard You ask: if You're willing that this cup might pass we could find our way back home, maybe start a family all our own...but does not the Father guide the Son? Not my will but Yours be done! What else here to do? What else me but You???

And the snake who'd held the world, a stick, a carrot and a string, was crushed beneath the foot of Your not wanting anything."

-mewithoutYou