A couple quick thoughts on God, and work, and happy-sad days of no college:

I have been learning a lot on my slightly more laid back Bible reading plan.  I've done the One Year for the past two years, and honestly it's worn me out.  I love reading God's word but it is nice to be able to take things a little slower and really focus on the passages I feel I need more time on.  I've been reading the book of Genesis, which is super cool because it's basically God teaching people to trust Him.  It's a book about people screwing up and God showing grace and guiding them through crazy situations. Something that really stuck out to me was the story of Abraham and Sarah.  They were both getting old, and they were super stressed because they couldn't have a kid.  Finally Sarah, instead of trusting God, decides to have Abraham sleep with their servant, who ends up having a child and being resented.  Sarah tries to do things on her own instead of asking God for help, and it causes her incredible pain and jealousy.  God is gracious though, and He gives Abraham and Sarah a child of their own.  They are pretty old at this point, but God can do anything.  He blesses their son Isaac, saying that the inheritance will come through him.  Ishmael,  Abraham's son through Hagar, receives a blessing too, but it isn't the same.  God's plan always is better than ours, and his blessing falls on it, but God is still gracious when we mess up.  He didn't leave Ishmael to rot, but He made Abraham's hasty decision into something that brought God glory.  I love God's patience with us!

Work has been both encouraging and a mess.  I've been frustrated by having to train people (which I don't understand how to do) but encouraged by conversations with my coworkers.  One of my coworkers was telling me an analogy the other day about how if "we do our best God will do the rest" and my heart just broke for her.  That life sounds so burdensome, and it discredits God's unending grace.  I was able to share truth with her in that moment, a very hasty version of it, but God is good and I am so stoked to be able to sow seeds.  I am praying that she'll come to church with me.  She calls everything but 80's pop 'devil's music' so that has been an interesting adventure in legalism.  I know all the words to most pop songs now, but she told me I was the most Christ-like person she has met the other day, so it is all worth it.  I don't feel adequate in sharing the gospel, or that my life even reflects anything I want it to, but God is using me in ways I don't see.  This is going to be a good year.

Oh, and no college.  I have been working on decorating my tiny new bedroom and watching a lot of TV shows.  A lot being way too many.  I haven't read any books besides the Bible yet, but I will get there one day.  My heart has grown towards the snow this year, so that is an exciting mystery.  I love seeing it, I'm just ready for my poor little car to stop getting stuck everywhere (parking lots, streets, alleyways.  EVERYWHERE).  Even though the snow is pretty I am ready for the world to thaw so I can explore my neighborhood.

The sad part is really only that I miss walking around University of Utah mountain.  And Greg.  And my virtual nature class.

"Yes, these questions are still in my mind. In deep disappointment I have wept over the laxity of the church. But be assured that my tears have been tears of love. There can be no deep disappointment where there is not deep love. Yes, I love the church. How could I do otherwise? I am in the rather unique position of being the son, the grandson and the great grandson of preachers. Yes, I see the church as the body of Christ. But, oh! How we have blemished and scarred that body through social neglect and through fear of being nonconformists.

There was a time when the church was very powerful--in the time when the early Christians rejoiced at being deemed worthy to suffer for what they believed. In those days the church was not merely a thermometer that recorded the ideas and principles of popular opinion; it was a thermostat that transformed the mores of society. Whenever the early Christians entered a town, the people in power became disturbed and immediately sought to convict the Christians for being "disturbers of the peace" and "outside agitators."' But the Christians pressed on, in the conviction that they were "a colony of heaven," called to obey God rather than man. Small in number, they were big in commitment. They were too God-intoxicated to be "astronomically intimidated." By their effort and example they brought an end to such ancient evils as infanticide and gladiatorial contests. Things are different now. So often the contemporary church is a weak, ineffectual voice with an uncertain sound. So often it is an archdefender of the status quo. Far from being disturbed by the presence of the church, the power structure of the average community is consoled by the church's silent--and often even vocal--sanction of things as they are.

But the judgment of God is upon the church as never before. If today's church does not recapture the sacrificial spirit of the early church, it will lose its authenticity, forfeit the loyalty of millions, and be dismissed as an irrelevant social club with no meaning for the twentieth century. Every day I meet young people whose disappointment with the church has turned into outright disgust."

-Martin Luther King, Jr.
Letter From Birmingham Jail.

If only he could see us now.  I think that, despite the decreased racism, MLK would weep at the American church today.  I am convicted to the bone.  In what ways am I lukewarm?  Where do I back off when I should stand up?

"They were too God-intoxicated to be astronomically intimidated".  This blows my mind.  It has been super encouraging to go through the book of Acts both at church and in my own personal quiet times. There is such an incredible example there of commitment, perseverance, love, and fellowship.  We are so blessed as a body of believers to have the example of those men and women to follow.  I am excited about this year and what it will bring.  God, use me in 2013!

Last words

Said to me by my sweet grandmother, who is hopping a plane back to Michigan in the morning:

"Son of a bitch!"

These, among other phrases like "I love you". My grandma represents all that the Midwest means to me personally and now I am homesick for the country roads and lakes of Michigan once more. I hope I can take time off this year to go visit again. If you cut into my chest you might find a heart oddly shaped like the Great Lake State. This all sounds terribly dramatic but I cannot come close to capturing this place in a short blog post. It doesn't do justice to the miles of fields and "you betcha, amen"'s and the clean air. I am in love with a place most people don't care to visit.

So there's that. My grandma will be back in May and I wish all of Utah could meet her. She is such a smart and spunky (a word reserved solely for grandmothers) woman. I have quite the family.

Via onetrippass

I am missing adventure in my life.  I spend long days at the bakery that turn into nights of either:

1.  navigating Trader Joe's (note: I am not a yuppie)
or

2.  watching British television on Netflix

Neither of these things are that exciting.  I think my life in Salt Lake is lovely, but it is much lovelier in the summer when there are mountains to climb.  Plus, I am mostly grossed out when I can't see through the smog.  January is like a season in itself.  I am anxious for this season to pass and a new one to come.

Today, though, it was warm.  There was sunshine and people were acting happy instead of tired and bothered.  I thought I might go on a bike ride after work just to celebrate, but on the way home I saw blocks full flashing lights and yellow tape.  Every single street around my house was blocked off, except, ironically, my own street.  There were small groups of policemen everywhere, so I decided to give up on biking.  I didn't feel like rolling up on a crime scene, and I don't think they wanted me to either.  Welcome to City Life. 

I wish I had fun stories to tell you.  I could exaggerate, or make things up, but honestly I am too tired. My days have been a blur of sweet family, cardboard boxes, baked goods, and the interstate.  All of these things are good, some even wonderful, but they are exhausting.  Everyone else is going back to school, and I'm trying to figure out what in the world to do with my early afternoons off of work.  

It's 2013.  I haven't even had time to really sit and reflect on the past year.  I have childish resolutions, like giving up soda, but there is also a desire to learn and grow, specifically in my relationship with God.  I am pretty solid in some useless worldly things, like analyzing literature, but I could sure do better in deeply reading the Word of God.  I am excited to have time without school studying to focus on real, solid, biblical study.  Here's to a new year of that.  Also, to my first year sans any schooling since the 90's.  

Woah.

"But there's a call to love our brother that can never be destroyed."

My boss just called me and told me to pray for my army coworker that is getting shipped off to Syria. My heart hurts because she is leaving behind a six year-old boy with no father to care for him, but I will never fully understand the great burden of the call of the military. It gets under skin and bone and people give up all to literally give up all again. We sleep in our warm beds with electric blankets and complain about the cold while they sleep outside in all kinds of extreme weather. We complain while they witness horrible things and silently keep going. It's a crazy concept. America is blessed and it is selfish. We need Jesus so desperately.


Off that topic, though. It's cool to work for a local business because my boss can ask for prayer. My coworkers and I can have spiritual conversations sans corporate interference. Even my boss asks about my faith constantly. God is using this to stretch my faith and work ethic. I'm praying for patience and getting long hours and hectic days. It's refining, it's hard, and it's good. I feel so stoked about this opportunity to watch a small business grow up. I feel like a proud parent almost. God is good to me.