there is always a new pair of shoes on my bathroom floor. they are never mine, but they are there.

peppermint, soy, and spinachstrawberryorangebanana. i cannot count anymore. don't count. work went by incredibly fast today, and i got to talk to stefanie (yes, with an f) about why there is even the rock music at all and what i believe in. super encouraging. no headache today though. i am going to miss sound. it is a fun, quiet way to bless the church. it always makes me tear up a little standing in the booth and seeing everyone worship.

and at the end of the night, i will try to use my excuse of having started a new budget (which is valid), and my excuse of being exhausted (also valid), but it won't get to the real truth of that i just don't know how to hang out with you anymore. i don't remember what it looks like, or feels like. and that is still difficult for me to get used to.


but still always, 'the angels sing on high, hallelujah, GOD IS GOOD.'

don't do school, stay in drugs is what my assistant manager recommended to me the other day.

These past two weeks have been non-stop running around. From house-sitting to house-cleaning to work to standing in front of a Spanish class and forgetting Spanish. Today is the first day of what is hopefully relaxing, but mainly finishing up some papers. This semester has been really different for me. I started a new job in December, a job where I actually have to think hard and do grown-up things like get yelled at or work on extra projects for my boss. Along with that I decided I might as well pick Spanish back up and go to class five days a week (which hadn't happened before since, oops, high school). Needless to say I was sort of overwhelmed for like, 4 months of my life. Now that I am used to it, the semester is ending and I am scheduled to work all day on the days my papers are due, in the professor's hands, on campus. Whoops. I have been worried about grades and keeping scholarship stuff up, but I had a good talk with my mom and I'm not stressed anymore. God is good whether I have a scholarship or go to school or not. That is ultimately what keeps me in check.

Anyways, what also keeps me being okay with this all amounts to the time I know that I will get to enjoy in Michigan. It couldn't come any sooner right now.

One of my professors invited me to a party at their house. Except for the problem is that it wasn't T.C.

I think I need to sleep a little bit more often.

"Fear of dropping soda on the ground, and it fizz on you. Fear of some birds. Fear of doors when they slams. Fear of things that go bump in the night. Fear of putting something in your ear, and it is not supposed to be there, and it is liable to run you deaf."

I am housesitting some dogs this weekend. There are some joys about having a house to yourself, but also there gets to be a loneliness after a few days. I like the silence less than I like the noise of every day. A kid yelling upstairs, muffled TV sounds, phones ringing, the neighbor boy playing basketball all hours of the day (and never getting better. how is that possible?). It is harder to sleep in the dead silence.



My Spanish professor asked us if we were stressed on Monday, and then on Wednesday told us that the world was ending in seven days, on the day of the oral exam, and made us write a list of things we would like to do before we die. I was one of only a few that wouldn't rob a bank ('cause that would just be weird, now), but I did tell him about the weird thing I've always wanted to do which is basically that scene in Jumanji where they smash everything in the store. I wish I knew how to say more things in Spanish. Sorry, T.C.

moments like this video make me sort of miss having a facebook, to share them with people.



I had Monday off of work, so I did some senior photos and then went to play with Boss, who is the most adorable puppy!

Four more days of T.C. I am sad about this, genuinely.

some observations.

--I took a small amount of comfort this morning in the old bus driver being back. It is always new men anymore, and even newer buses that smell like plastic. I have attached personalities to the old drivers but the new ones are just quiet. I don't love that.

--There are twins in one of my classes. They always sit right next to each other, except for today, they were seated far apart. I wonder that means they are in a fight, or just need a break. It would be weird to continuously look at the seat next to you and see yourself.

--Two and a half more weeks of sitting in rooms that can never find a good temperature.

--My room is living in a constant organized/cluttered cycle. I can never figure it out.

--Two more children's books, one, Where the Wild Things Are. Another novel with the word "House" in it, some obscure French poetry (which, yuck), and some Joyce. Plus, watching Wall-E. Three more papers. One more project. One more test. Fourteen days.

--Tom bought some fancy coffee and expects me to be drinking it with him every day, but the problem is that I just forget. He wants someone to share in his excitement but I keep rushing off in the mornings. This time, I finally did it.

This lack of sleep all of the time is making life interesting. I wrote what was hopefully the best paper of the semester so far last night, and all I am hoping today is that my professor feels the same. J.S. is a paper Nazi, but I guess this is what I signed up for.

I watched the Walking Dead last night while housesitting, which was probably a bad idea because of nightmares in a strange house. Except for I didn't have any, at least, not any about the living dead. Just about the kind of things I usually night-mare about.

And then I had a good day of work-school-work today. Like, really, good. I didn't get too nervous while I had to present during staff meeting for our new sales campaign, and when I got back later in the day Rilo Kiley was playing in the back on someone's iPod. Also, for some reason almost everyone wore purples shirts and ties, like we planned it as a big joke on the people that didn't. I am starting to understand and love my job and coworkers more.

Anyways, housesitting with children involved makes for a nicely quiet night tonight. We are watching shows on Animal Planet about people that have been attacked by various animals, like hippos or snakes. I don't know about why they make these tv shows, but I don't love to feel like every animal lurking in the bushes wants to eat me.

Sound tomorrow, so excited. I love having church to look forward to after a long week. Can't wait to hear more truths from Proverbs!