Tonight I was halfway through my accidentally-late drive home from Tony and Shannon's when I realized that no sound was coming out of my radio, and no heat was coming out of the heater. And it didn't bother me a bit. But I still turned on a National song for the rest of my drive, just because. I am getting over my need for background noise, and it feels good. I won't lie and say that I'm not going to listen to Bon Iver tonight before I fall asleep though.

Anyways. Today was the day of the week that I get off work. I missed Spanish due to never actually missing Spanish and also because of talking too long in the rain (whoops, sorry T.C., I still like you a lot). I finished all of my homework early, kept my bedroom clean despite laundry being done, and even went to the orthodontist and made spinach dip. And all of that is a big deal because days off are usually used for catching up on sleep. I wasn't really in the mood to be around people for long because I felt crappy, but I went to a small group party anyways, which was a good choice. Sometimes it overwhelms me how blessed I am to have the church family I do.

And then I finally went home and opened a card from a friend, and fifty dollars fell out. I was definitely not expecting it, and I wouldn't even tell the story except for that God is so faithful. I had to fight back tears because He knows exactly what my situation is and is blessing me through it. The days that I feel the least motivated to do anything or change my awful mood are the days that God grabs me by the hand and shows me His love. Every situation I feel like is hopeless right now; my modernism class, the guys I work with, relationships that are confusing, I get reminded that there are bigger things that I want to fight for and that they are minor setbacks. There is prayer and that is all there is to do about it. I can study for classes more diligently, but every word of Pound is going to burn, whereas my God stands eternal. The deeper I get into my English major the more frustrated I get with it because people study this literature like it will bring them enlightenment or truth but yet give no thought to the God that created them. I put too much worry into something that is temporary and usually ridiculous. I guess it is just a matter of prioritizing well. Obviously God has blessed me with a scholarship, and I need to be diligent with that, but I know my truth from my Pound, Eliot, or Freud. And tonight, finally not having homework to leave fellowship early for is a complete blessing.

On a completely unrelated note: I have started curling my hair the night before I actually go anywhere. I don't know what this accomplishes except that my hair looks dirty again as soon as I leave the house. But it is nice waking up and not worrying.

And on another unrelated note: today I heard two people talking behind me on the bus, and all I could think about, was 'This should be a story on This American Life'. Thank you, Ira Glass.