On the train, for rare moments, you can see into the car in front of you, and that operator's booth is lined with wood. For a minute you imagine the train is a classy, wonderful thing, like in a Wes Anderson movie. Except, right when you are thinking of all of those nice things, a lady gets on, tripping on whatever her drug of choice is. And she is loud, and obnoxious, and people are holding her back. And it breaks your heart.
School is literally almost done. I can see the end, which is this Friday and also next Thursday. Writing final papers has kept me so stressed that I am afraid it isn't really done after all. I dream of still having classes, even when it is ninety-five degrees and I am in another state. My professors are mad at me because I have missed, like, five days straight, but I just want them to remember that I am on vacation. All that I am ready for is miles and miles of fields. But right now God is just reminding me that he loves me, even when I am miserable and grumpy over finals week. I just need to be content in the situation I am in, which is writing papers. And not sleeping. Basically I am blessed to be in school at all, even though sometimes it sure feels like more of a burden.
Babysitting is almost done, too, and right now I am just so glad that I don't have to be a mother for, like, a whole bunch of years. I don't know how to make kids fall asleep well enough for that responsibility.
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1 comment:
i've been where you are girl. finals are no fun. BUT we are so fortunate to be getting an education when so many don't get that.
you are a fantastic writer! i like reading your stuff. :)
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