at 2 am, wes anderson reminds me of a lot of things in my life. like that i don't actually hate to paint. or that i like the kinks and bill murray. or that, sometimes, i just want to be margot tenenbaum. she is so mysterious, with the cigarettes hidden under bricks and the wearing a fur coat everywhere. i wonder what would happen if i packed up, went to indiana, and came back with a wooden finger. now there is a life. usually, though, things like headaches just end up happening on the weekends, and i am finally okay with that.

the bad news in my life seems to come in waves, just like the good news does. it is so strange that things keep happening in extremes, but they do, and that is the way it works here. some things are a lot harder to handle than others, and they don't hit home until later, when it just isn't expected. God has a way of doing things that i will never begin to understand. that terrifies me sometimes i guess. things happen, and things don't happen, but i know that i can trust there is a reason for all of it. i know that God is sovereign, and that is the truth that i will cling to until he takes me home. i will cling to it through scary phone calls, and exhausted nights, and days where all i want to do is praise his name. hallelujah and amen.