"we need to talk."
"about what?"
"about anything: the newest movies, rain on a tin roof, shopping malls. the things we are too scared to say, and the things that we forget about."
"sound good to me."

i am wide awake. i don't feel like i am going to throw up, and my head doesn't hurt, for a new record.

i would love to always live inside of days like today. the more i look at it, the more i am excited for life. i think i'm starting to take the side of an optimist, and it feels great. last night i was able to relax, courtesy of a hot tub and will ferrell skits. this morning i was able to go to church and see some of the people i love the most. i can't even get over this idea of family lately. i am SO blessed by my church. i am so blessed by leaders that want the best for me even when i don't. my heart was ripped open today interacting with CHILDREN and teenage boys. aka
1. helping in Sunday school has been a huge blessing for me. children are such a beautiful thing. i love hearing them talk about God and their opinions on life. i think that teaching will be a good choice for me.
2. i was able to test two teenage boys for an outreach class final today. what an amazing thing! they were so passionate about what they were saying. one of the kids went above and beyond being the child that i used to babysit occasionally, and he turned into a man in front of my eyes. i can't wait to see these guys grow up into men that will love Jesus and their families more than anything in the whole world. they are going to be amazing dads and husbands and leaders and revolutionaries.

so, my God is good, and faithful, and real, and refreshing. even when i hate my feelings, or my sickness, or my flesh. he gives me encouragement and direction. he gives me people to plant my flag and die with. i am so thrilled to look back on my life in ten years and see all that has gone on in my life..who i've become and who's life i've changed. this world is fading fast, and sometimes i get a glimpse of that, and i want to fix it so bad. all else fades away.