Today Jacob got home from school, then immediately walked up to me and asked me if I knew how to boil eggs. Apparently they have to have egg babies for school, and he cracked his the second he got them. So, really, this afternoon has been spent in a panic over these poor eggs, and now we are boiling new ones. Hopefully he can take care of them for at least one day. I keep laughing about it.

I think, also, that the sunshine is both a detriment and a good thing for my homework. I don't want to sit inside and study, but going outside to read a novel for some English class is no big deal at all. Only nine more days of classes this semester. I even liked this one, minus a breakdown and one online class.

"I put on my robe and went downstairs. I was always putting on a bathrobe and going somewhere to talk seriously to a child."
-Don DeLillo, White Noise
My dad would say that.

I spent Monday, Tuesday night, and Wednesday taking photos for some friends of mine. Mainly it made me consider taking some photo classes, and also realize how much I LOVE music photography! Here are some of the ones I am most excited about:

















I have also realized that I may have a little bit of a crush on Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Oops.

things I want to do this summer:

--know God on a deeper level.
--play sports.
--ride bikes a whole lot.
--garage sales?
--go on vacation.
--get a tattoo (maybe).
--create: photography, paintings, music, food, clothing, words.
--leave my hair long for at least a month.
--get to know my house church better.
--be intentional with people.
--see the ocean again.
--camp.
--serve people.
--go to a lake.
--swim more than normal.
--go to lagoon.
--be at peace with things.

Today I saw a glimpse of myself in someone else, and I wanted to shake them and say,
"Hey, that was me a few years ago. Stop it, it isn't as fun as you think it is."

Instead, I sat back down and drank my Heritage Dr. Pepper. Yup, I found them, in a sketch Provo grocery store. Which is a funny story because I never woke up this morning planning on being in Provo. Except, the more I lived through the day, the more I wanted to be at my parents' house, the more I missed Provo, the more I just missed certain things about my life that used to be. I never did sleep much then but now that sounds great. I am tired of a lot of things and I just want Jesus to come back.

Provo does remind me, though, that God has such amazing timing even in the weirdest things. Shocking thing to realize this weekend. Sobering thing to realize. I am too whiny lately. I need to hang out with some girls that will yell at me.

It's getting to where I only want to listen to Thrice's Water album over and over again until my heart keeps breaking. Driving through cryptic construction signs with tears always rolling down. Hitting all the reds before they slowly turn to green. Loving the night but still wishing it was summer.

"I'm starting to believe the ocean is much like you; 'cause it gives, then it takes away"
-Thrice

"When we were in Iowa....no wait, in my bed..."
-Jonathan Young starting a conversation.

white rabbit came and went.

we had to, for a time, volunteer at a pacific islander student conference, blonde and i. blonde knew more about what was going on than i did, so i learned to follow someone whose judgement made me a little bit nervous. we ended up following students around. the job was simple: make sure they didn't escape. once they were sitting in a room, happily dissecting cow hearts, blonde walked away to relax at a table while i found a purse (like i always seem to do). i took the 'being responsible' route and gave it to someone that looked like they were in charge, then sat down next to blonde to attempt homework. nothing much got accomplished, as the man with one arm too sat down and decided to talk to us both. volunteering and conversation was quickly ended because of other classes interfering.

professor two, real crazy, had eye surgery again. couldn't read, but taught english. we all had to teach ourselves about dumb poetry. maybe one day i will love it, but for right now the only poet i enjoy is frank o'hara. and isaiah, i guess.

one month. two months. three months. the days go by. i dream about trains and running around campus. i search for dr. pepper. i sit on a hill and let the wind give me a runny nose. i let God's truth sink in deep. the days keep coming.