my body is getting used to waking up early. i know this because i am waking up at six without an alarm, and also because sometimes it is five. i wish my body knew the difference between those two, because just because you can wake up early doesn't mean you are not tired for the rest of the day.

i have been so busy lately. i signed up to take outreach again because it has been so long. it is going to be a lot of work but i feel like it is manageable. i want God to use me more in this area because i feel like it is somewhere i definitely lack. i am excited for the opportunities i know he'll give me as i continue through the class.

so sunday was outreach, and then sunday was a crazy birthday party that i was hired to take pictures for. i didn't know what to expect, and it was pretty much a bummer to see the things some people find joy in. but there was some BOMB food, and it was interesting to spend time in a totally different culture. it's sort of funny because everyone was speaking spanish, and the girl kept translating, except for i understood most of it. these 8:30 classes four days a week must actually be working for me.


it's funny that life is so busy but i don't, for once, feel overwhelmed about any of it.

the art of taking naps, and how it never worked for me.
lack of sleep and speaking in tongues (which, actually, is just spanish).
forty minutes of cardio in a building that looks deceitful from the outside.

i get real tired sometimes, and then i remember it's only a week in to school. a week in and already the kid from my spanish class last year won't stop flirting with me. i'll be sitting in the grass, waiting to go off to some theory class, and he'll just walk up and sit down next to me. hey, what are you doing skipping class, he says, like he knows my whole schedule. it is a little creepy and a lot less than charming. but i just smile and be nice, because what else can you do? next time i see him, i am going to run the other direction though.

public transportation is messier than usual. my room is messier than usual. lists are being made and piling up and i just want it to be FALL. coats. scarves. boots. leaves. pumpkin. tea. soup. fall is so nostalgic to me, and i think a large part of it is because it takes me back to living in oregon. when i think pumpkins i think fir point farms: cinnamon donuts, the acorn house, miles of beautiful trees. dressing up as something silly and going out into the neighborhood.

our branch manager asked me the other day if i would be interested in applying for a loan officer position. i guess i am a grown up now.

"do you ever do a warm-up before exorcism?"
-spencer, while reading to me out loud. poor guy.


i want to write a story about the bank some days, but instead i just come home with a headache and really dirty hands.

the thing of it is though, is that, despite the headaches and the germs and the grumpy and lying people, i don't hate my job. God has been so good to bless me with this. whether i work thirty hours a week this semester or twenty, i will be happy that i am where i am. i feel so professional when i count back money to a member or solve a financial problem. which is funny because i never thought much of that type of thing, because i am not a numbers or business person. i like to write and wear the same clothes over and over, and not wash my hair. don't ask me how i ended up where i did, for this moment.

things are in a funny place right now. i can't believe that school starts in four days. i can't believe my brother has been gone for a week--and isn't coming back for another three months. i can't believe he is in the marines. i keep wondering when all of this stuff is going to become more real in my head, but the answer is probably not until it is over.

i found some of my papers from my creative writing class a few semesters back.


it's time to get back into that.

somebody stop me before i do something drastic and chop off a lot of my hair. except truth is i am probably too scared to do it.

picking up the pieces of the week, though. my back and my legs are sore from accidentally working out beyond my capacity. who knew, but runningfridayplayingfrisbeeandkickballsaturdaybikingsunday actually doesn't feel great physically. it sure does something great for your mind and soul though. God is so good to give exercise as a form of stress relief. last night we went on an 11 mile bike ride in a little under an hour and it felt so good after getting over the initial pain. i am excited to buy an eventual bike that isn't vintage--even though it is real cute, and people always stop to comment on it--so that i am not carrying around 20 extra pounds.

the real point i even meant to write was that my brother left yesterday for bootcamp. it is weird to me that i have no way of contacting him or hearing from him. i hate thinking that he is just spending all of his time now getting yelled at, but i am so proud of him for doing what he's doing. keep him in your prayers, that he grows closer to God and stays encouraged through all of this. It is going to be a hard three months for my whole family, but I will count down the days to san diego eagerly (which, hello, huge deal because i hate california the most). time goes by quickly. i am blessed i got to spend the weekend hanging out with him.

that's all folks. this week is a busy one. today at work i had a lady walk through all of the lanes of the drive up, yell at me, then walk away and ignore me as i tried to help her with her problem. people are so funny.