Well, it's been awhile since I've written, especially looking at it in light of the fact that my brother graduates high school tomorrow. That is a really weird feeling. I sort of feel bad for my parents because I don't know what they will do now. Travel or let someone else move into their house again, I guess. Time has been such a weird thing in my mind lately. Tonight I stayed up probably too late talking to Tom and Rick (which is funny, because we all live in the same house yet never manage to really have conversations) and it was a sobering hearing their stories. I feel like every week passing is closer to school and I still haven't done anything with my summer. I feel like I need to finish school. I feel like I should spend more time at work or more time on my bike or more time visiting people. Time time time. I am blessed by this lull though and I need to learn to enjoy it. I don't have many summers left before I have to get a real-real job --my job is just the introduction to that.

What else.
--My grandma is still pretty sick and so she isn't coming out for my brother's graduation like we had all planned. I hope to still go visit her this summer if I can raise the money for the tickets. It's still up in the air what is actually going on with her but they've ruled out a lot of the things she was scared of. Keep her in your prayers.
--My grades weren't as good as I hoped this last semester, but I had a really good performance review at work, and got put on a recognition list for something else. Funny how that balances out.
--Last night was This Will Destroy You at Kilby, so I went with a few guys from church. Pretty much what happened was that it was a drug show, but I still enjoyed the parts that didn't make me feel like I was drowning.

I wish I was somewhere in a field right now, enjoying the sun. I miss those days of life every day.

whenever i buy blonde hair dye, i start to lack the the area of self-control, and my hair becomes a huge mess. i don't know why but this happens every single time.


i am tired. i have been dreaming of awful things. on the in-between days, my dreams are about places that i wish i could go to, which is great except for there is always something wrong. maybe i am at the farm but can't go out and enjoy the sunshine. or by the ocean but it is drowning me. it's always something. i want to go a night without dreaming. it's been too long.

three whole days off in a row now. i don't even know where to begin.

I did something dumb and spontaneous, which was buying a phone that is smarter than me. Like, it knows more about most things than I even do, and that is an awkward place to be. It even reminds me that I need to go to work, or text people back.

Anyways. Something about the warm weather has made me want to listen to 80's pop music. Every song makes me feel like I should be in an old Drew Barrymore movie. There was a moment last night, as I was leaving someone's house, where the Cure's 'Boys don't Cry' was playing, and I really thought I was maybe inside of the movies (as Spencer would say).

I don't really know what to write about anymore, but I can't help thinking that things are back to good around here. And also I keep thinking whole entire sentences in Spanish. I hope you're proud, T.C.